A Year Of Heart Melatonin - The Ambience That Impacted My Style

"Take me down, take me down by the water, water. Pull me in until I see the light." - Daughtry, "Baptized"

Just over one year ago today in December 2024, a breakdown I had over the anxiety of if my sibling was upset at me sparked the creation of the ambience-venting project heart melatonin, the alias I operated under for experimental, "don't-care-if-it-sounds-bad" venting project that was also used for a lot of experimental masters I created throughout my time.

Looking back, it was a flawed project. As much as it did feel like the sewerslvt to Cynthoni at times, it really was more like an upbeat digital music artist looking back on their psuedo-ambience roots. Back when they didn't really have much direction, as that's just what heart melatonin was, a playground with no set instructions on how to really "hit it" the right way. It wasn't a miracle of medicine or any real surreal idea in any way, it was more like just clicking ideas together while nobody was looking.

Given, it wasn't entirely private. When it came time to work on a song for a later project, I did remix a melody from the project, track three on the debut EP (which was the only one heart melatonin got btw), and it was an alright remix at that. Just the original song with added drums and an extra melody, I think.

But I think this year, heart melatonin deserved more. It did a lot more for me than just be a name I went under then abandoned. It kind of shaped the way for how I view and approach creating emotional art in the first place. It was a throwaway project, sure. But it was more.

It felt like something I undercooked. And with that, I think for the first anniversary for the alias that died as soon as it got out the door, I think it deserves more than a fake mixing credit, or a pseudo feature, or even a credit that doesn't feel right anymore.

What it deserves is one last adventure. A grand remaster, but not under the same lenses, no. Definitely not going through what I went through when I first made HM.

Instead, I think it's time to revisit it, one last time. Under a new pair of glasses.

In the eyes of a less emotionally deprived artist.

In the eyes of Tanto Aura.